In the footsteps of the Lord

Over these coming days we will be posting some stories of people’s lives, and how a course which is run at St Joseph’s called Alpha is literally transforming people’s lives. Today, we hear from Natalie who is a teacher.

Faith. I think for me it has been a gradual experience which has grown through a variety of experiences. I can say with honesty, years ago I attended Mass, I engaged fully with the time spent in church, but once I left the church building my contact with God was sporadic.

Things changed probably about 6 or 7 years ago: I begin to notice more, make connections and made a little more time for prayer outside of Mass. Five years ago, I changed my job which involved lots of travelling. This was time I spent quiet and alone and I was able to utilise this time for prayer. Prayer for various different reasons but my conversations with God were enhanced by the scenery which surrounded me on my journey through the Lake District.

I took the decision to enrol on the Catholic Certificate for Religious Studies (CCRS) which again was another opportunity to deepen my faith and understanding of my religion, my faith, the Bible and the Catechism. I started to make connections with what I was studying during the CCRS with the readings in Mass. It all began to make sense, became clearer and enhanced my relationship with my faith. I was fortunate to also attend the Kerygma course [a course similar to Alpha], again fulfilling my thirst for knowledge and gaining more understanding. It wasn’t until the last session where we gathered in the church to attend confession that I began to notice a shift. I came back from my confession (I always find confession challenging as it makes me incredibly emotional), and I sat down in the pew behind Martin. As I sat in the quiet of the church with the music playing quietly I knew the Holy Spirit was near; I could feel His presence near me. I have had similar moments like this but never one as visible. I felt the nearness of the Spirit and breath of the wind; it was an amazing moment but not one I chose to share with anyone. I sat there quite stunned and shocked and after the session had ended I left church and sat and pondered in my car. It was quite a moment and one I recall often during my quiet times.

From this moment, my relationship strengthened as I found myself engaging fully in the life of the church and community. I have always been a part but usually on the periphery, always willing to support but never really fully committing. Now I have engaged fully with my union, I read at Mass, I am a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and I try and help the parish as much as I can, family circumstances permitting. I don’t shy away from being open about my faith, I share it freely.

Then the pinnacle of my faith journey, I travelled on the parish pilgrimage to the Holy Land. When the trip was planned, I was applying for a promotion but unfortunately I wasn’t successful. I was disappointed at the time but I tried to convince myself that there was a higher reason, and that it wasn’t meant to be. How right I was - I would never have been able to attend this journey had I gained my promotion. From the moment we set off to the moment we arrived back in the UK, it was a total immersion. The people, the places, the sights and the celebration of Mass but above all the fact that we were walking in the footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Two places stood out for me: on our first day we climbed up to the Church of the visitation. I sat in the church and wept; I could imagine Mary visiting Elizabeth and the conversation with the Angel Gabriel. I felt the excitement of Mary that she had been chosen for that precious role. It was immense and when I lifted my head, several of the ladies were crying too. What an amazing experience!

The second place was at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem. It makes me shudder when I remember the hustle and the bustle, the women barging to get through, the rudeness of people who called themselves Christians or were they? We entered into the tomb where Jesus lay and were pushed by the Orthodox Priest to pray on the tomb. It was a strange experience and I felt unfulfilled by the experience. Was this what Jesus would have wanted it to be like? I took myself off to stand quietly to one side, and watched the people dashing here and there. It was almost like slow motion until I was pulled towards the slab where Jesus’s dead body was laid when he was taken down from the cross. This rock was anointed in myrrh, and people were wiping cloths, head coverings and crucifixes with the oil. I knelt down to touch the rock and smothered my hand in the oils. I looked up at the large mural depicting Jesus laid out in death and being anointed. The moment passed, I felt calm and blessed as I made my way outside to meet the group waiting. Many of you may know that I have no sense of smell, but all of a sudden I smelt the myrrh. I was amazed, I smelt my hands, I was fascinated so I went back in with a clean cloth to gather some more of the oil. My sense of smell lasted for a short while but the memory of that moment is within my heart forever. I was able to fully participate using all of my senses for that short time. What a blessing from God.

St Joseph’s is running its next Alpha Course, beginning on Thursday 14 January at 7pm online. Why not join us? From the comfort of your home you can join and watch the videos, share your own thoughts, and make new friends in what is a life-changing experience. For further details, email alphalancs@gmail.com